I didn't think I'd recover after my daughter left.
Like you, I asked why. A lot. How could this happen.
People said "move on" and "she'll be back." It wasn't that simple.
I thought if I could find the "right" words to say, I could fix it.
Not just for my sake, but for my other kids, my entire family.
I didn't want to let go of her. But I did want peace. To regain my confidence. More love and compassion. Not guilt and anger.
I wondered if it would be possible to really heal.
I wondered if my family would ever feel happy and complete again with such a large piece missing and without resolution.
And then I figured a few things out.
Feeling better and moving forward didn't have to depend on my daughter or the state of our estrangement.
Before I understood this I was desperate for the estrangement to end. I was determined to find answers, figure it out.
To find a way for all of us to feel better.
I read, I researched. I went to therapy, thinking it was the "right" thing to do. It helped. But a time came when I didn't need, or even want, to rehash the past. I realized I could be stuck forever guessing at possible reasons why, speculating about my daughter's life choices or mental state or what she might be thinking. And we could be wrong, and nothing would change.
I felt something good had to come out of the estrangement. The pain of it was overwhelming, and I wanted a silver lining.
Accepting that I couldn't change my daughter, or the estrangement, and that there's no perfect path through this wasn't easy. So I began to focus on me. Creating the person I want to be, the life I want. Grow through this.
Not focus on what was broken, but focus on how I could lift myself up through this.
A lot of us try to cope with positive affirmations, distractions, drinking/eating/working too much, isolating ourselves, having pity-parties, obsessing, being angry and blaming. All while trying to keep a brave face and be strong for our families.
No wonder we're exhausted. And none of that really works long-term. I think we deserve better.
I offer a different way. A proven process for permanent healing. An empowered path through estrangement. An opportunity to grow and create a future you can be proud of.
I am a Certified Life Coach, teaching practical skills to help you be in control of your life again. To know how to cope and move forward, no matter what happens with your child and estrangement.
Estrangement coaching is about creating step-by-step action plans that make sense. Plans and strategies to heal, make decisions, and design your life and future in ways right for you, no one else. It's active, so you're not stuck or "just getting by."
Coaching is systematic and logical, combining cognitive psychology, neuroscience, and post-traumatic growth research. The Journal of the American Medical Association released this abstract about the effectiveness of coaching for physicians - with themes of emotional exhaustion and resilience meaningful for all estranged moms, regardless of profession.
Coaching changed my experience of estrangement, and my life. All estranged moms wanting to feel better deserve to know these skills. That's why I'm here. I know what it means to live estrangement and I know that growth and transformation through it is not only possible, but deeply fulfilling. If that sounds good to you, reach out.
A review from one of my special clients:
I am so thankful for my time with Jenn. Her coaching has helped me so much with how I think about my personal relationships. She’s not only helped me figure out how I want to show up in my life, but also helped me learn how to actually make that happen. I’ve gained so much perspective through working with Jenn and recommend her highly!